What to do next with life.....

I've decided.... I need a new challenge in life! Admittedly I do get bored rather quickly, but a few months ago, I decided to close a chapter in my life that had run its course over a number of years and to my dismay nothing has yet pricked my interest to fill the gap. It is so very easy to fall back into the trap of going back to that which is familiar, even if I have grown out of it, but I am determined this time to look forwards instead of backwards...

I think one of the most difficult things that I have encountered whilst making these life altering changes, is that not only have I stopped doing something which played a big part in my life, but also, my social circle has changed as a result.... The commonality that I once shared with others, is no longer present and it's so very difficult to connect in the same way. Some people who once played a large part in my life and whom I classed as 'friends' seemed to have disappeared ... Thankfully, I do have some really close friends, who will always remain a big part of my life, but nevertheless it's a bit strange right now.

Over the past couple of years, there have been a number of monumental changes that have taken place in my life, which has very much altered the world as I know it. Some changes I have instigated, whilst others have been forced upon me, which in turn has caused a sort of grief reaction, triggering all of the associated emotions, anger, denial, loss etc....

I admit that I perhaps could do with a bit more patience with regards to making changes at a slower pace, but then again is it such a bad thing to just get it all over with,  start afresh and work through the pain? Oh well, there is no going back now... I have set the course and therefore need to plod on in uncharted territory.... What the future holds... who knows! I will let you know when I get there ;-) x

Making Judgements about Others and the World

Its a natural part of our humanity to make judgements throughout life about the world in which we live, whether it be about situations, events or indeed people. It is a form of guide to measure ourselves and our lives. It can be a positive way to reflect where we are up to and what we need to work on. Making judgements therefore, is not necessarily always negative in nature. It can help and guide us to be better individuals!

By the same token, it can also be of detriment to us if we judge in a negative way... By measuring ourselves egotistically against other people / situations, we can take the moral high ground and our view can become tainted by our own self worth and beliefs.

As we grow up, we are conditioned with morals and beliefs about others and the world in which we live. This is healthy and natural as it gives us a basis and a form of underpinning. However, each and every one of us have some form of imprinting from our parents - and to a certain extent, take on their beliefs and values. As an adolescent, we critically evaluate and test these beliefs and strive to make up our own minds through our own worldly experience. Although there is a lack of experience and maturity at this stage, we do tend to move away from our parents / other peoples views and this in turn helps us to become an individual. The challenge however, is how we then perceive ourselves and the world through adulthood in a positive way, through continual growth!

As each decade passes, the world changes so very much and that which was once frowned upon can all of a sudden be acceptable in society, which then in turn challenges our our own thoughts ... Social media opens up the world to us.... We become more in touch with what is going on around us and are thrust into a position where we are subjected to differing values and beliefs. It is however,easy to get caught in the trap of once again returning to infancy and taking on other individuals  beliefs, values and judgements.

In a previous post, I wrote about being true to self.... this is so very important if we are to progress through this life in a more meaningful way. Over the years, I have learned to be more accepting of other people, their values, beliefs and the way that they interact in the world. Each and everyone of us is on a journey and we are all at different stages, as we all have different experiences. Don't get me wrong, I am not infallible by any means.... none of us are.... we are all just human after all and have many flaws. The challenge therefore is to be more open and accepting of other people and situations and to try not to judge or measure them against ourselves! My dad once said to me that 'the saint is the sinner that continually picks himself up...' - this is something that I have tried to live by for many years... Yes I make many mistakes in life which make me stumble, but I also get back up again, learn from my mistakes and strive to become a better person, more accepting of the world in which I live. x

Ready, Steady, Go!!!

Well, a couple of weeks have passed since the New Year and I think it's time I got my bottom into gear and start anew with the plans I have for 2015! Paying lip service is all well and good, but it's now time to put into action all the things that I have planned! I can talk the talk, but it's now time to walk the walk.

In the past I have hyper focussed on certain aspects of life to the detriment of other things... This year will be different! All work and no play makes Dave a very dull man!!!! There are so many facets to us as individuals and they are all important parts of who we are. Ignoring or neglecting certain parts of our being causes an imbalance and I know from experience that it can be detrimental to me as an individual. There is so much in the world that I want to see and do and I am only to aware that time is passing me by and I am not getting anywhere fast!

I am in charge of my own destiny and only I can take the lead with my own life. It's no point blaming others  for what I have or haven't done... so it's best foot forward and here I go!!!!

I'm feeling rather excited.... x

Gratitude for Friends & Family

I am grateful for many things in my life, but mostly I am grateful for my family and friends who make my life that much richer... They walk alongside me, teaching, nurturing, supporting and loving me in all that I do. We don't always agree on many aspects of life, but hey, that's a good thing... it challenges me and kicks my backside into shape when required... We sometimes fall out, but thankfully that never lasts forever as there is an invisible bond that ties us together....

We all have different paths to lead and we may not share the same vision, faith or beliefs, but regardless of this, there is a mutual respect and acceptance of our individuality... We may not see each other on a daily basis and may not live in each others pockets as we go about our lives, but all it takes is a text, a phone call or letter and they are right there to reassure, help or simply be there...

I think I have said in a previous post, that not everyone walks with you along you're path indefinitely, but even so, the contribution that they make towards you're life is invaluable. They played their part in you're evolution, teaching many things and offering differing insights and challenges in life...

I am indeed blessed to have these people in my life, as they provide colour to the rich tapestry that I weave and for their contribution to this, I am truly grateful! x

To Thine Own Self Be True...

Why is it that people find it difficult to be themselves and instead take on the beliefs and personality of those around them whilst in their presence? Is it a form of existential schizophrenia ? Such individuals seem to live 'double lives' - how they act and behave in the public arena or with their peers is not reflective of their true personality, but instead, they live a life of hypocrisy which can be perceived as being shallow and empty...

In my experience, some people seek acceptance through titles, academic achievements or indeed portray to the world some form of 'specialist' knowledge which usually lacks depth and understanding, losing touch with reality, creating their own parallel world and ultimately living dissolute lives.
It is very sad really, and each of us to some degree or another can fall into this trap as we strive for acceptance in the world in which we live.

The challenge is to be true and authentic to ourselves, for we are unable to justify internally that which is not real. On reflection, we may find that we do not have a sense of internal peace which leads us to feeling lost in the world.

Once again, I find myself rambling and almost preaching; but in truth, it is not intended... These thoughts have come into being as I continue to examine myself, my flaws and idiosyncrasies which forces me to look at the world, other people and indeed my own spiritual path in a new light, continually challenging self which impacts on how I view the complex world in which I live. x

Be Who You are Meant to Be

It's easy to get lost in the rigmarole of daily life... we get caught up in so many things from day to day that we barely have a minute to ourselves! We all play so many roles - partners, parents, work, committees etc.... All of the faces that we wear, make us into the person that we are, but with time, we seem to lose the very essence of our individuality. When we realise this, we seem to  go into a state of panic and reminisce about the person we once were and desperately try to become that person once again.... By then, too much water has gone under the bridge and a new 'beast' is created!

I've found that its really important to take some time out for myself... Over the past couple of years I think I must have gone through a mid life crisis as I approached the big 40.... I had completely lost the essence of me, as I fell into the trap of  playing a role and spent no time investing in myself. I questioned who I was, what I liked and what were my aspirations and I'm afraid to say that I couldn't answer any of them! I realised that now was the time to change and to re invent myself into the person that I wanted to be. I could not go back to who I was, as I had changed so much over the years, but it was time to rediscover myself.... The road has been rocky with much turmoil, but now I have re invented myself, keeping traits from the past that are meaningful and part of who I am and taking them forward with the experience and maturity of the past forty years!

I believe that this is one of the challenges of life.... to be the person that you are meant to be, for only YOU can do that...  :-) x

Time

Time is a strange old thing... sometimes it feels like it's dragging and yet at other times it seems to fly by. Time gives us structure to our day and sets landmarks when we remember events both in our past, present and future. It could be said that time itself is 'timeless' as it is not necessarily governed alone by a physical clock, but also through our memories.

Earlier this week, I re visited a place that I had not been to since the tender age of 18. Although just over 22 years have gone by, when I arrived it seemed as if the years had melted away and that the familiar place and the dear people who reside there had remained unchanged - it was as if  the world and life itself  had stood still!

Obviously, over two decades have passed and over the years I have grown and experienced many new things which has made me into the man that I am today and yet I felt as if I had been transported back through time... Precious memories and feelings re surfaced from long ago and a kind of familiarity and a deep sense of peace was felt within.

As I reminisced about the past, I was consciously aware that as an individual I have matured and changed. The reality of life and the world that we live in is ever more present in my thoughts as opposed to the naivety and innocence of my youth and my 'present' experience was very meaningful and real.

The wonderful experience as a whole has re ignited something in me which I felt long ago, but it is in a different way which will take much discernment.

What the future will bring, who knows.... only time will tell ;-) x

Determination

Well, that's Christmas and New Year all over and done with for another year, so it's time to get moving once again with all the determination and hope for the future twelve months ahead. It's time to put into place all those changes that I said I would do after reflecting on 2014 just a few days ago...

It's all rather exciting - its akin to being born again, having the slate wiped clean, leaving past hurts, mistakes etc behind and moving forward. But what does the year have in store? Who knows... One thing I do know is, that only I can make change; only I can shape my future and push forwards. To make things happen in life, I have come to the conclusion that only I can make things happen and that reliance on others is futile. People can share the vision and the journey, but only I can go where I need to go and self determination and focus is paramount.

Time to clear out the old and start afresh... It has been a long time coming I can tell you, but hey, it's all part of the master plan and lessons have been learnt! x

Change

Change is an inevitable part of life... sometimes good and sometimes not so good, depending on how it is perceived. Change enables growth, and gives new experiences and challenges.

I think that I sometimes tend to get stuck in my own little world and naturally resist anything new. To move forward though, I need to ask myself what good will this do me? the answer has to be no good at all.

This year provides me with the opportunity to start anew, embrace change and grasp with both hands all that life has to offer. This is the challenge of the New Year, to get out there and do what I want to do and embrace anything that comes my way with a new sense of vigour.

Bring it on.... I'm ready :-)

Forgiveness of Self

No one is perfect in this life... we all have done things which we are not proud of and would like to turn the clock back if we had the opportunity. Whether we have done or said something with intent or not, or if we have inadvertently hurt someone by our words or our actions, it can leave us feeling with a sense of guilt and remorse.

There are so many situations in life that perhaps we feel that we could have acted differently or in a better way. It could have been down to our immaturity, our psychological or spiritual state of being or due to some life event or experience that we have gone through.

Regardless of the situation or what we have done, there comes a time when we need to find forgiveness for our words or our actions. Sometimes, forgiveness is not possible, as those whom we have hurt may not be able to forgive, either because they remain resentful  or they may have moved away and no longer be in our lives or they may even have died.

Life is a journey and as we grow and experience all that life has to offer, we mature and see things in a different light. It is only by reflecting on our lives that we sometimes feel a sense of wrongdoing on our part and a need to put things right. Harbouring onto guilt is not a good thing as it will damage us on a physical, psychological and spiritual level, which can have a dramatic impact on our well-being and future lives. Such impacts can lead to ill health and leave us in a perpetual state of limbo where we are unable to move on with our life and we become trapped in a never ending cycle of negativity.

In my experience, the first step towards healing is forgiveness of self... This may be very difficult to grasp as we may not feel worthy of forgiveness due to our past actions or words, but by forgiving self, it is only then that we can move on with our lives, be better people and strive to act differently in the future. By forgiving self, we learn to live in the present moment rather than living in the past, giving us a renewed sense of purpose to change and improve and to build on our experience rather than being held back by what we have said or done... Emotions often play a significant role with any form of guilt. We may feel angry, upset, resentful, fearful, or even vulnerable. It is usually these negative emotions which fuels our lack of forgiveness and therefore if we accept them for what they are and not dwell on them, perhaps we will be able to move on with our lives.

This entry does appear to be rather 'heavy' in nature, and perhaps rightly so as it is something which can have serious implications on our individual lives. I feel blessed in many ways, but mainly due to my belief and faith in God which helps me through much of the darker aspects of self. I feel blessed because in my heart of hearts I know that there is forgiveness to those who are sincere for their wrongdoings and wish to put things right.

Life is very precious and short in duration... I believe that we all need to stop living in the past and live more in the present moment. We need to learn from our mistakes and try not to replicate them and lead better lives where we can demonstrate love through our words and our actions. Living in a perpetual state of negativity from our past mistakes is a waste of that life and we are worth so much more than that ;-) x

The Impact of Social Media on us as Individuals

Over the course of the last decade, Facebook and social media has played an ever increasing part in our daily lives... More and more we have become dependant on our daily fix to either 'interact' or 'spy' on the world.

We share both our joys and our sorrows with anyone who will listen... we link up with friends of old, as well as making 'new virtual' friends. Our daily lives are broadcast to the world!

It is hard to remember what it was like before social media played such a huge part in our lives and although it has some very good points and benefits, it can also have a negative impact on us as individuals and indeed other people. Many thousands of people have lost their jobs due to it, while others use it as a breeding ground to commit crime.

For the general user, it has become a place where negativity is bred through coveting what other people have and by being judgemental towards their life choices, beliefs, sexual orientation, colour etc... It can also be used as a tool to gossip or hurt others by posting comments which can cause much psychological pain and suffering.

It is also used for political reasons and propaganda is spread like wild fire. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment and digest others subjective views and make them our own, without really looking into the facts, breeding racism and unjust views.

On the flip side, social media brings a host of benefits - like never before, we can interact with others across the continent and learn things that could once only be found in books. It also can dispel loneliness and can create a sense of community, even if it is only in a virtual sense.  We can keep abreast with latest developments of things that we are interested in and it has also become a platform to promote charitable works.

Social media therefore is down to us as individuals - it is up to us how we use it, whether that be positive or negative in nature and we alone are accountable for our own actions.

From a personal point of view, I have begun to limit the amount of time that I spend in the social media arena, or at least to think before I post anything which could be construed as being harmful or negative towards others. Some months ago, I considered leaving the arena all together, as I felt that it was having a detrimental and negative impact on my Spiritual Self, as I allowed myself to be drawn in to others negativity which made me think in a judgemental way, when really from the limited information posted, it is near impossible to make an informed judgement on anything.

As human beings, we naturally make judgements on other people, life and the world around us... it is questionable however if social media plays a predominant role in those judgements and if so whether they are for the good of others and indeed self...

The question therefore arises on a personal level.... Do we use social media for the good of others and self, or does it have a negative impact on our being? That is for each and everyone of us to decide and to make a concerted effort to make change if that is what is required.

 

Life

Life seems to pass us by in an instant... When we're young, we feel that we will be young forever and yet age creeps up quickly and silently as if to catch us out...

During our lives we meet so many people, some are fleeting while others stay around for a while. One thing I know for sure is, whether fleeting or staying around for the long haul, each and every person leaves some mark on our soul.

Sometimes we fall out with friends and family - usually over trivial stuff and the only thing that prevents us from moving forward is our ego, our pride and our stupidity.

It's a new year... a new start... time to let go ;-) xx

New Year's Resolutions

Why do we set ourselves New Years resolutions? Each and every year, the majority of us resolve to do something better or different or indeed change ourselves in some way, i.e lose weight, get fit or give up smoking etc.... As the days and weeks go on, our resolve seems to weaken somewhat and before we know it, our plans for the New Year seem nothing more than a distant memory.

New Year is a new day and indeed a new beginning, a time when we reflect on the past twelve months - predominantly in a negative way - as that seems to come more natural to the majority of  us.

New Year is a time that invokes in us a sense of renewed hope and optimism to change our past ways and become 'better people'. A time when historic misdemeanour's are wiped clean and it's as if we are born again to a better and more optimistic world.

This New Year has much hope and promise - like every other year, but it will only live up to its expectations if we go out there and get what we want through an Inner Transformation.... Paying lip service is no longer enough... An inner change needs to take place enabling that renewed sense of self to strive forward and change...

Of course, we do not need to wait for New Year's Day to come around... each and every day is a new beginning; a sort of mini new year, a time to take tiny steps to achieve that which is in us that yearns for change.

Through past experience, it has become apparent that change is a personal thing... no one can make us do it, only we as individuals have that power. Change predominantly comes about through discernment of self... External changes can be fleeting but internal change seem to have a more lasting effect.

My father often used to tell me that 'a saint is the sinner that falls and then picks himself up and carry's on...' That seems to ring true for me! No matter what happens this year, this month or even this week,  each and every day is a gift - an opportunity to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves down, to learn from the past and continue to strive towards our inner goal....

I wish you all the best with you're journey through out 2015 xx